While I was sitting at my keyboard attempting to hammer out yet another entry today, a strange thought entered my mind as mysteriously as the way my wallet empties itself every now and then. No, it wasn't another world domination plan or kinky fantasy. Neither was it about the physics-defying pile of clothes stacked up in the corner that threatened to achieve a Guiness World Record on its own.


No, it was a simple thought. One that did not require much posturing beforehand. One of those things that just pop up when you least expect it, at the most unlikely time. Kinda like when you are taking a poop in the loo and you suddenly become struck by the intricate textures of the well..."end product". You marvel at how nature has suitably structured the elongated shape to allow an easy exit, how it manages to navigate the labyrinth of a digestinal system without any map or GPS. Maybe, just maybe... it reads road maps along the way. "Slide left at the next vein to exit at the lower rectum". But I digress.


"If I were to rob a bank one day, who among my friends would I take with me?"


That, my friend, was the time-stopping question that silently assaulted my brain processes and gradually took control like I do when I realise there isn't enough toilet paper. Who would make a good bank robber? A partner in crime. Like Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. Jack Neo and Mark Lee. An interesting question indeed.


Would I choose......


Someone naggy and whiny - so that I would be constantly reminded about how long the bank manager was taking with the vault key and that even Yoda would have died and reincarnated by the time he was done?


Someone no-nonsense and serious - so that we wouldn't waste time at meetings trying to decide which designer brand to use as our gang uniform? Btw, if you think bank robbers need not look good, well try wearing a curtain to your next robbery dude. Which is why, Hollywood robbers ALWAYS look dressed-to-kill. Literally.


Someone voluptuous with zero gravity assets - so that the guards would be distracted not only by how we managed to wear Bathing Ape all over and yet still have to rob a bank but also by the bombshell with mammaries that threaten to erupt and spill out of the suit. Like a thousand-year- old volcano which suddenly sneezes because some fat Americano tourist used too much pepper on his hotdog.


Someone quiet and non-intrusive - so that finally, somebody is listening to what is actually going on and not whine about how Yoda looks better in CG now or defend the fact that mammaries can unbelievably defy Newton's theory.


Someone who can lead by example - so that only he/she gets stuck in the air-con vent and not all of us? "No lah, can squeeze through one. Come I show you all....".


So there, something to think about for all you bored souls out there. No manga? No problem. No cartoons? No problem. Work stress getting you down? No problem. Cant find that CD? No problem.


Catch up with your pals and go rob a bank. Now where's my toilet paper?

No more Star Trek. Sundays are going to be boring again.